Hi! Welcome back to Bri Books. Once again, Happy Women’s History Month. I’m so excited about this episode. Today’s guest is JoiMarie McKenzie, author of “The Engagement Game” (OUT TODAY!) When she’s not busy writing up epic lifestyle and entertainment stories at ABCNews.com, she found the time to WRITE an AMAZING first book—and a memoir no less. In this episode, JoiMarie shares how and why she wrote her first book (a memoir), what she hopes readers to take away from it. She also shares for the first time publically her bout with depression after a relationship went south, and how she learned to be compassionate towards herself, and how a little piece of insight from singer Jill Scott got her through. I know this episode will be really interesting and informative, especially for readers who are navigating relationships with significant others, and ultimately the most important relationship of all—your relationship with yourself. Enjoy! If you’re feeling this episode, consider leaving a review.

• 4:16 – How “The Engagement Game” is like “The Odyssey”—each experience teaches something that’s useful and applicable later down the line.
• 4:40 – How JoiMarie is fighting to take consumerism out of celebrating engagements and marriage.
• 10:28 – JoiMarie on shame if an engagement goes awry: “I feel like oftentimes when things don’t work out or go our way or relationships or jobs or friendships end, we are kind of warded off into a hall of shame. Where we shouldn’t be. And I think it’s amazing how shame makes us hide.”
• 11:15 – Would JoiMarie’s character in “The Engagement Game” even be HAPPY if life had turned out how she wanted, and how JoiMarie “avoided her divorce.”
• 13:30 – JoiMarie defines “covenant spouse,” a phrase that revolutionized how I see partnership and dating: “I found out that a husband is defined in relationship his wife. But a ‘covenant spouse’ is defined by his relationship with God. It’s essentially having God at the center of your relationship. And when my godfather prayed that prayer for me, I decided that’s what I wanted.”  
• 15:55 – On the significance of being 28 years old, “the first time in life where everything seems to being going right.”
• 17:42 – On “the Saturn Return”
• 21:00 – On cultivating self-compassion, slowly.
• 23:10 – On how dating and faith influenced JoiMarie’s approach to depression
• 25:00 – JoiMarie on the disconnect between therapy and black communities of faith: “I think it is a cultural thing, but I think more so that we’re so not educated enough or comfy enough talking about it, and so you have to get to that point where it’s ok I can’t go to my home girl she doesn’t have the answers.”
• 25:51 – what interview have you done that was most informative when it comes to helping you write the book?
• 26:00 – The one interview with Jill Scott that helped JoiMarie get clear on what she wanted from love and life.
• What JoiMarie is reading: Lots of feminist theory, so tweet and Instagram her your picks with #bribooks!

Meet Jenn Mundia, singer-songwriter behind this very podcast’s intro music!  Jenn just finished Phoebe Robinson’s “You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain,” and we just HAD to talk about it. In this episode, we dig into Phoebe’s love for black girls, the EPIC moment in black women/ Shondaland TV history (“WHY IS YOUR PENIS ON A DEAD GIRL’S PHONE?!?”), the subversive power of Phoebe’s unique style of humor and relatability, and why you should never EVER engage with “Devil’s Advocate” guy on Facebook or IRL. Find Jenn’s glorious music here, and here!

SHOW NOTES

• 2: 49—If Jenn’s voice sounds familiar, it’s because she’s literally the first voice you hear when you open this podcast!
• 3:58 – Jenn found Phoebe’s writing style very conversational, and thoroughly 2017
• 4:10 – My thoughts on the conversational, informal style of “You Can’t Touch My Hair,” and how her writing grounds the book without dating it.
• 6:20 – Phoebe is using her writing style to set the stage for what she wants to discuss about being an actor, comedian and all-around black woman in Hollywood and beyond.
• 6:48 – Phoebe makes a point that black hair is so integral to OUR culture, and how black hair is a THING, and how the way our hair is styled can affect how people treat us, and how we think of ourselves.    
• 8:15– How Jenn resonates with Phoebe’s commentary on black hair, as a singer-songwriter-performer.
• 11:30– What Phoebe says is the single greatest moment in black woman TV history: “WHY IS YOUR PENIS ON A DEAD GIRL’S PHONE?!”
• 12:10– How removing Annaliese Keating’s wig removal on “How to Get Away with Murder” was “revealing” for Viola Davis as an actress, and gave us the greatest moment in Shondaland history.
• 13:30 – Is Jenn the “black friend” for anyone?
• 14:00 – Why Phoebe says not to become friends with any new white people in summer.
• 14:30 – My favorite way to not become the “black friend” is to NOT to keep talking to the “Devil’s Advocate Guy.”
• 14:45 – You know the “Devil’s Advocate Guy.” His posts on Facebook usually start with, “I never start with my opinions on Facebook…”  
• 15:00 – Brionna’s “Devil’s Advocate Guy” story, and how she disengaged from his shenanigans (TRIGGER WARNING: We discuss the N-word from 13:45-17:30i)
• 17:45 – Jenn’s OPP recommendations: “The Black Guy Who Tips” because it’s “super informative and ratchet”; “Another Round” because it’s great to see black girls thriving; “Storycorps” for the amazing interviews of families and friends interviewing each other.
• 18:45 – My book rec for Jenn is Issa Rae’s “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.”

17:55 – Find Jenn Mundia at jennmundia.com and on Facebook, Instagram, iTunes.

Happy Women’s History Month! What better way to kick off the month than with….chatting all things vagina. Fellow traveller Nichelle was reading “Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer over breakfast one morning, and we began a conversation about the vagina, shame, self-knowledge, and much more. Enjoy this bonus episode of Bri Books, just in time for Women’s History Month. If you’re loving the show, write a review of the podcast on iTunes!

Show Notes

• 0:20 - On the poignancy of celebrating Black History and Women’s History back to back
• 0:45 - Welcome to Women’s History Month on Bri Books! In March, all episodes will feature and be about women in different industries and interests.
• 2:40 - Meet Nichelle (@inspire1824), a medical social worker celebrating her 50th birthday year in Bali. Nichelle makes a point to spend every big 0 birthday abroad, and this was the most wonderful place she could think to travel. She loves to read sci fi, fiction, mysteries.
• 4:30 - “Pussy” was a gift to Nichelle from a friend, born out of honest (albeit awkward) conversation among girlfriends. They talked honestly, about what the book is, the body, and how the author discusses bodies.
• 5:30 - The book focuses a lot on understanding where your beliefs come from--looking back on how you were taught to look at your body and vagina, and how you were taught to take care of and look at it and how to reconnect.
• 6:40 - Define: “Pussy” v. “vagina”
• Nichelle’s reading: More Octavia Spencer, and hopefully more writing
• I’m reading: A Children’s Illustrated History of Korea
• Nichelle on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/inspire1824/